A story of an Anthropologist turned mad scientist. This is a collection of things she enjoys.
Please, have a seat.
Paranoid thoughts relating to automobiles that I don’t like dealing with:
Let’s start with my creepy ass driveway- it’s extremely narrow, long, and it gets really dark at night. -Perfect set for a scary silhouette of a man with a sharp heavy object to be standing at the entrance.
I’ve had someone stalking my house, which is great and flattering as a box of chocolates laced with anthrax. So, naturally, I’m a little scared to back all the cars into the driveway in the order in which my parents leave the house at night. WHY? I’ve seen a man standing at the end of my street with a flashlight at 3 am just standing there, looking at flowers, I suppose. Not to mention strange footprints around my windows. Cool.
I get creeped out sometimes to get in and out of my car when it’s dark out because I think someone is going to grab my ankles from underneath me. I mean, if a mass murderer were to hide anywhere that spot would be as perfect as any other. -My cousin did that as a practical joke once. Now I’m scarred for life. -Hence why I have a swiss army knife and a bottle of mace on me at all times.
My Babba once scared my Mother by sneaking in the backseat of the car in the morning before she left for work and as soon as she turned around to back the car out of the driveway he popped up and scared her. -as hilarious as that was.. -I’D DIE A THOUSAND DEATHS. -Now I check the backseat like a paranoid parrot.
I’m terrified at the thought of fumbling to find my keys when I park my car in obscure places, I feel like it makes me look like a wounded gazelle in the middle of the savanna. The jingle of keys sound like a fucking dinner bell for rapists.
i’m sorry you have all these thoughts, but that last one made me laugh, lol.